Is it true that you hate most agencies?
FAQ yeah, it’s true! We’ve seen them inside and out. We’ve watched them perfect the art of blowing smoke up a client’s bum and had their vapes, shishas, and Lucky Trites way too close to our own rear ends. That’s not how we roll.
So what makes you so special then, you bunch of smart-asses?
We won’t work with you just because you’ll pay our bills. In fact, tough guy, if that’s the best a collaboration would offer us, we won’t work with you at all. Malcontent isn’t for everyone and we don’t pretend to have a problem with that.
Alright, so who are you looking to work with then?
We work with brands that can get excited about standing out. We’re here to celebrate the fact that your audience is already polarized and we’ll do our darndest to make those that might consider you actually fall in love with you.
If you want to pander to everyone because you’re afraid to lose out on turning a buck, swipe left. If you’re ready to be a brand with personality, stop reading and get in touch already!
Ok. So far so good, hoodlums. Now what do you actually offer?
You name it, tough guy. From landing pages and blogs to your email marketing and social media, we’ll raise your content game by a factor of FAQ-to-the-yeah! We’ll also help you build a rock solid brand and design content strategies loaded with just the right bullets.
How long does a typical collaboration with you clowns last?
Even content that knocks the socks off an audience needs time to deliver the goods. We prefer to set up client relationships that last at least 6 months and are packaged and billed quarterly. If someone’s got a problem with that…well they can just go ahead and negotiate with us then, can’t they?
What don't you do then, you silver-tongued superstars?
You mean other than meth and our exes? Look, we’re here to radically differentiate your brand and we’ll do whatever it takes to do so. If you want to know our true passion, it’s content, especially written content. Do we do design, and have a network of expert partners whom we love and who are the dog’s bollocks? FAQ yeah, we do! Do we run your ad campaigns for you? Bleargh! No way.
Gotcha, windbags. Any last words?
Enjoy what you see. Read our blog, drop us a line, and follow us on social media rather than home after a late night. We’d be (moderately) happy to hear from you, wisenheimer!
Don’t be content with color-by-numbers marketing. Punk’s alive and kicking, and our updates will ensure that your business is too. Death or glory! Don’t become just another story.